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Monthly Archives: September 2012

“C.H.U.D” REVIEW

27th September, 2012 · Jeff Larsen · Leave a comment


CHUDboxcoverC.H.U.D (1984)

Directed by: Douglas Cheek
Rated: R
Runtime: 96 mins

If you grew up in the ’80’s then you have to remember the awesomeness you experienced when you first saw the box cover to the movie “C.H.U.D” in your local video store. For a ten year-old it was the most amazing thing ever. The image of a weird creature coming out from underneath a city sewer lid. For over the last 20 years that image had not escaped me, but ironically I had never seen the actual movie inside the coolest box cover ever….until now.

"It's a C.H.U.D!!"

“It’s a C.H.U.D!!”

I wish I could say the movie is as cool as the box cover but that’s not the case. About the only interesting thing about “C.H.U.D” is a cast of future recognizable actors who were earning their dues in this horror B-movie. Actors like John Heard, Daniel Stern, Sam McMurray and John Goodman. Even if you don’t know all these guys by name, they’re the kind of guys you know when you see them. In fact, John Goodman who only has a bit role in the film did his Coach Harris character from “Revenge of the Nerds” the very same year as “C.H.U.D” (1984).

"You just wait until the Coen brothers discover me."

“You just wait until the Coen brothers discover me.”

While there is a certain mystique about mutated creatures emerging from the sewers of a big city and this film was certainly the forerunner for that idea, overall there isn’t anything special about the film. The plot is pretty sloppy, the characters are generic and the most interesting thing about the film, the “C.H.U.Ds” are used sparingly, probably due to the limited SFX budget. “C.H.U.D” is definitely a film you have to see to say you have seen it, but don’t be prepared to be wowed like you were as a kid in Magic Video.

Posted in Movies |

YOUR GUIDE TO WINNING MCDONALD’S MONOPOLY

25th September, 2012 · Jeff Larsen · Leave a comment

 

monopolydudeswAs golden as the arches of this fine establishment, the same can be said for the money making opportunity that awaits you. I’m of course talking about the annual artery clogging game called “McDonald’s Monopoly”. But before you abandon your healthy lifestyle of tofu and hummus for Big Macs and Large Fries I thought it would be nice to provide you with the list of “Rare Pieces” for the game:

monopolyrareI know these codes are from 2007 but as far as I know nothing has changed over the years. Now if you don’t know how the game works…well…you’re a moron. Don’t worry the Mickie D’s employee with Down Syndrome by the shake machine will explain it for you. Don’t get me wrong. I know this game is a sucker’s bet in its truest form. Hell, the game was halted back in 2001 after a company called Simon Marketing, which organized and promoted the game, had been removing all the “rare pieces” from play and distributing them to friends and family. The scam went on for several years and netted the conspirators over $24 million in prizes. The scheme was eventually uncovered when one of the participants informed the FBI. There’s always one, isn’t there?

“McDonald’s Monopoly” is indeed just a marketing scheme and playing it consistently will add inches to your waistline but who doesn’t get a thrill when they peel off Park Place from the side of their large Coke? You’re only one Boardwalk away from life changing money.

Posted in WellHungOver |

POKER ARCHIVE: MY PROBLEM WITH LA POKER

25th September, 2012 · Jeff Larsen · Leave a comment

 

Let’s crack open my POKER ARCHIVE: This article was originally written back in October 2008. I’m sure some things in the poker world have changed since then. I for one used to like playing at The Bellagio back then, but for the sake of LA Poker I really hope some things have changed there as well.

The Commerce Casino. The Bicycle Club. If you play poker seriously then you’ve heard of these venues. I myself had never been to either one of these establishments before, but after spending a week in the Los Angeles area I have to say that these poker rooms do not live up to the hype and praise you’ve heard about them.

The Commerce Casino - Commerce, CA

The Commerce Casino – Commerce, CA

The Commerce Casino is perhaps the most famous card room in LA. It might even be the biggest card room in the whole world (Foxwoods?). But let me tell you as a player that prefers the likes of The Borgata and The Bellagio, The Commerce Casino is a dump! You’ll find dirty people loitering around the casino and sometimes even dirtier people sitting at your table. And everyone is eating all the time! My #1 poker pet peeve is eating at the table and it seems that in CA when most people decide to go out to eat they somehow find their way to a poker table. I swear of the nine people at the table at least 5 of them were eating or ordering something during the whole session.
Next, let’s talk about how fucked up LA’s buy-in structure is for No-Limit Hold’em. Listen to this, the max buy-in for a 3-5 NL Hold’em game is $200! WTF? I thought the logic for NL Hold’em was to have a max buy-in of at least 100x the big blind. At a buy-in of only $200 and where the average pre-flop raise is around $20 – $30 it doesn’t take long for you to get your stack committed in situations you wouldn’t normally desire. Basically the game can turn into a coin-flip shove fest. So my biggest problem with LA poker is that there doesn’t seem to be much “play”.
     During my time at the Commerce I was surrounded by loose bad players that unfortunately I wasn’t able to exploit. But it was fun to watch this guy sitting next to me with about $800 in chips get felted after he got drunk and started playing every hand and trying to bluff everyone out of every hand. In a string of five hands this guy went from $800 to nothing. It was one of the worst displays of poker I had ever seen. But the one good thing I can say about the Commerce Casino is that the parking lot isn’t as bad/dangerous as everyone says it is and the parking is free as well.

 

The Bicycle Casino - Bell Gardens, CA

The Bicycle Casino – Bell Gardens, CA

The Bicycle Casino or commonly refer to as “The Bike” is cleaner and nicer than the Commerce Casino but the quality of players is still pretty bad, also everyone loves to eat at the table, as a matter of fact if you play 3-5 No-Limit Hold’em or higher you can get all the free food you want from the casino. That’s a first. But what would seem like a nice perk for the players actually was kind of annoying to me as I watched players display their gluttony as it seemed like everyone was ordering 5 course meals plus desert. The poker table turns into this centerpiece surrounded by side tables filled with food. And as if live poker wasn’t slow enough, all the eating going on only slows the game down more.
     So there I was playing 3-5 NL Hold’em with their bullshit $200 max buy-in which led to me playing pretty tight and waiting to take advantage of the loose and wild players around me splashing every pot. Because of this structure I believe you just have to be patient and wait for a situation where you can get involved with the best of it, and boy did I find such a situation. Long story short I held Qs Js with a board of 9s 10s 8c which resulted in me stacking my opponent. So yeah you can say I had fun at The Bicycle Casino.

 

Hustler Casino - Gardena, CA

Hustler Casino – Gardena, CA

I’ve heard a lot of stories about The Hustler Casino. How Larry Flynnt flies in the world’s best poker players to take on, so I was excited to check out this place out. And with the name Hustler involved I was expecting to see hot sluts walking around everywhere. Well, that’s not exactly what you’re going to see. I really didn’t see any hot chicks anywhere inside, even the waitresses were kind of beat and rundown. But the card room was comfortable and well laid out, and from what I was told the table where Larry and players like Phil Ivey and John Hennigan play ultra high stakes games is right there amongst all the normal tables. Well I didn’t see Larry or Phil playing anywhere but my 3-5 No Limit Hold’em game was actually the most solid game I had experience since playing in LA. Most players knew how to control their bets in accordance to their stacks and there really weren’t any shovefests to speak of. This might be a result of the high number of house players I spotted in the card room. Actually the number of house players I saw in LA poker rooms was abnormally high in comparison to other card rooms I’ve been in around the country. But hey I don’t mind house players, they keep the game going and most of them don’t get out of line too often with their betting.

 

Hollywood Park Casino - Inglewood, CA

Hollywood Park Casino – Inglewood, CA

My final session of LA poker came while I was waiting for my red-eye flight back to Philly. The Hollywood Park Casino is only a stone’s throw away from LAX and is a pretty cool place to play. I loved the fact that there are arcade games everywhere surrounding the poker room. And we’re talking cool arcade games like Donkey Kong, Operation Wolf and an Elvis pinball machine as just a few examples. But like everywhere else in LA there was the $200 max buy-in for the 3-5 No Limit Hold’em game which I again will tell you how much I detest. And once again I was at a table where players were just making huge over-sized bets pre-flop and just shoving on the flop. Is this poker? Maybe its just a result of all the action junkies in the room who are also betting the horses while sitting at the table.
Now don’t think I’m being a whining little bitch, because I know how to adapt to this structure and this kind of play, but the thing is, is that on this day some bad luck and some cold cards resulted in a pretty decent dent in my bankroll. I’m not going to tell you how much I lost but just let me point out these few hands: my set of 4’s stacked by a set of Kings, a guy all-in rivering a flush to beat my straight, I was short-stacked with pocket 8’s and of course my opponent with AK nailed his Ace on the flop…OK, maybe I am starting to sound like a bitch because no one likes to hear bad beat stories, but it just seemed like that during my time playing poker in LA I didn’t exactly feel like I was “playing poker”. I almost felt that due to the structure that comes with a low buy-in for a No-Limit Hold’em game that most of my actions were pretty much determined by the math involved and not by any kind of high level thinking. Man, I can’t wait to get back to The Borgata.

Posted in Poker |

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE “WELL HUNG OVER?”

15th September, 2012 · Jeff Larsen · Leave a comment

 


WHOwho
“What does it mean to be WellHungOver?”

1. You don’t fear death, and won’t give into torture.

2. You have Olympic Beer Pong Skills.

3. You have knowledge that would surprise a scholar, and a sense of humor that would make even a bad girl grin.

GunWHO4. You have the sociability of a lamb, but remain a lone wolf.

5. You have the highest level of experience with alcohol, gambling, video games, screwball comedies, music, pornography and fast food.

6. You can fall in love but you can never love.

 

icehouseWHO7. You swear by your life and your love of it that you will never live for the sake of someone else, nor ask another person to live for the sake of you.

So there you have it, are you “WellHungOver”?If you are and even if you’re not, thanks for stopping by.

Cheers,
Jeff Larsen

 

Posted in WellHungOver |

“WHEREVER I AM, THAT’S THE PLACE TO BE”

15th September, 2012 · Jeff Larsen · Leave a comment

 

Crack HouseSometimes people ask stupid questions.

Questions like: “If you could have anything what would it be?”

What would I have? Anything? You know, to answer that question truly and accurately, there’s a lot of things I can think of that would be nice. Maybe I could be playing golf, video games, poker all day, be with my friends and family, be somewhere else. But in truth, in my experience I really believe that all of us are exactly in the most perfect spot wherever we are in our lives. It’s up to us to acknowledge it and see why that’s the perfect spot although it might be some place you don’t wanna be or you don’t like being at certain times. But whenever I’m somewhere I don’t want to be, I find that a lot of times I’m missing out on what’s really going on around me. So in my last few years I’ve been acknowledging that part of myself and saying “you know what? I have to find out what’s so great about this moment instead of wishing for something else.” And realize that I’m here, and you’re here, and everyone else is here for a perfectly good reason. There’s no reason why we’re not somewhere else. So this must be as great as any other moment that ever was and try to see that and make that happen and believe and understand it. It’s not always very easy. – JL

Posted in WellHungOver |

MUSIC ARCHIVE CONCERT REVIEW: THE BOUNCING SOULS HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS 2007

13th September, 2012 · Jeff Larsen · Leave a comment

BouncingSoulsHHSign

BouncingSoulsHHStonePonyThe Bouncing Souls Home for the Holidays
The Stone Pony
Asbury Park, NJ December 28th & 29th 2007

Recently back in late December, The Bouncing Souls rocked their “Home for the Holidays” shows at The Stone Pony in Asbury Park, NJ where they played their fan voted Top 40 favorite songs.

FAN VOTED ALL-TIME 40 FAVAORITE BOUNCING SOULS SONGS

40. Holiday Cocktail Lounge
39. Here We Go
38. Better Things
37. So Jersey
36. Apartment 5F
35. Serenity
34. Shark Attack
33. Born Free
32. For All The Unheard
31. Cracked
30. Private Radio
29. I Like Your Mom
28. The Pizza Song
27. Midnight Mile
26. The BMX Song
25. That Song
24. Neurotic
23. Bryan’s Lament
22. East Coast Fuck You
21. Fight To Live
20. Old School
19. Born to Lose
18. The Ballad of Johnny X
17. Lamar Vannoy
16. Wish Me Well (You Can Go To Hell)
15. Kid
14. Night On Earth
13. Sing Along Forever
12. Punks in Vegas
11. The Gold Song
10. Joe Lies (When He Cries)
9. Anchors Aweigh
8. Say Anything
7. Lean on Sheena
6. Kids and Heroes
5. Gone
4. Quick Check Girl
3. Hopeless Romantic
2. Manthem
1. True Believers

BouncinSoulsHHGregHowever, being the die-hard Bouncing Souls fan that I am, I felt compelled to make my own Top 40 list, and as you can see my favorite Bouncing Souls songs differ from the average fan.

JEFF LARSEN’S ALL-TIME 40 FAVORITE BOUNCING SOULS SONGS

40. Night Train
39. The Something Special
38. Midnight Mile
37. New Day
36. Simple Man
35. That Song
34. Private Radio
33. Punks in Vegas
32. Hopeless Romantic
31. Fight To Live
30. The Ballad of Johnny X
29. ’87
28. Apartment 5F
27. Lamar Vannoy
26
. Kids and Heroes
25. I Get Lost
24. Some Kind of Wonderful
23. Wig
22. These Are The Quotes From Our Favorite ’80’s Movies
21. Say Anything
20. I Like Your Mom
19. The Pizza Song
18. PMRC
17. Serenity
16. Quick Check Girl
15. True Believers
14. The Gold Song
13. Trapped
12. So Jersey
11. Neurotic
10. The Guest
9. Anchors Aweigh
8. Joe Lies (When He Cries)
7. For All The Unheard
6. The Freaks, Nerds, And Romantics
5. Gone
4. Kid
3. Kate Is Great
2. Argyle
1. Old School

Posted in Best of List, Music, New Jersey |

MUSIC ARCHIVE CONCERT REVIEW: THE BLOODHOUND GANG

8th September, 2012 · Jeff Larsen · Leave a comment

 

THE BLOODHOUND GANG IS BACK!!!

BloodhoundGangThe Bloodhound Gang
The Note
West Chester, PA February 14, 2009

My guess is that it had been about 3 years since I last saw these perverts before seeing them once again. And just like 3 years ago “The Gang” sounded like they hadn’t missed a beat. How do they stay so fresh and solid? Easy there’s a place called Europe where they spend most of their days now.

But as for this show in The States, I’d say they played a nice mixture of their old and new stuff. The venue for the show, The Note, is a really cool place to see a show. A perfect small atmosphere that keeps you close to the action (like Evil Jared puking into his beer and then drinking it) no matter where you’re standing. The crowd was a lot younger and tamer than most Bloodhound Gang shows I’ve been to in the past, but I didn’t mind it that much because after one or two HopDevils the last thing I needed was a mosh pit throwing me around.

BloodhoungEvilJaredEvil Jared Hasselhoff warping your view on reality.

     So the question is “When should I expect to see The Bloodhound Gang again?” Maybe when they release another album? I probably shouldn’t hold my breath then, because even as awesome as they are, these guys have been known to have the same motivation to make new music as Artie Lange has to quit eating donuts. But at any rate, dear Bloodhound Gang, let me take this moment to thank you for all the awesome music you have made so far and to thank you even farther for maintaining your level of quality during live performances. Saturday night was a blast…Sunday morning I felt like I had an ice pick in my brain…this is what seeing The Bloodhound Gang means to me.

Posted in Music |

MUSIC ARCHIVE CONCERT REVIEW: STEPHEN MALKMUS & THE JICKS

8th September, 2012 · Jeff Larsen · Leave a comment

 

REAL EMOTIONAL TRASH

SMMarqueeStephen Malkmus & The Jicks

The Fillmore at the TLA

March 29, 2008

SMplaying“A filet mignon, that’s the kind of steak Philadelphia is” said Stephen Malkmus. And just like a dinner at a fancy restaurant the former Pavement frontman delivered another amazing performance Saturday night on South Street. Playing mostly songs off their new album “Real Emotional Trash”, Stephen Malkmus and The Jicks showcased why they are among the elite in the indie-rock world. Opening with “Elmo Delmo” was an interesting choice but followed up by “Hopscotch Willy” and “Cold Son” I realized it was a great way to set the tone of their new album for the audience. The only songs off “R.E.T.” that SM & The Jicks didn’t play were “Wicked Wanda” and “Out of Reaches”(which I was kind of bummed about because “Out of Reaches” is one of my faves of their new songs). I really dug “Gardenia”, but the strongest songs of the night had to be the renditions of “Real Emotional Trash”, all 10 minutes of it, and Malkmus’ incredible guitar ripping on “Baltimore”.

     Joining me for the show were Charftong, Garlic and Graber. We met up on South Street around 7pm, grabbed something to eat at an Irish Pub called O’Neal’s, got beers at Mackos where a homeless man drunk on Bud Ice was rambling to himself while Death Metal played in the background, and then proceeded to the TLA about 10 minutes before Malkmus came on. The crowd was pretty cool and laid back as is with most indie-rock shows. The only real annoyance were the dudes who kept taking pictures during the show like they were freelance Rolling Stone photographers. Hey, I took pictures too, but I took 10 pictures in total, while these guys had to be in the 50 – 100 range. Dude, we get it. You really like the band. But putting your camera up every 2 minutes so we can see your LCD screen gets really distracting after the first 25 times. This really is just a minor complaint for an otherwise incredible show. BTW – Graber, thanks for the lift to McFadden’s after the show.

Jeff and Joe

Jeff and Joe

 

 

Posted in Music |

MUSIC ARCHIVE CONCERT REVIEW: WESTON

8th September, 2012 · Jeff Larsen · Leave a comment

 

Weston
The Trocadero
Philadelphia, PA July 5, 2007

WestoninConcertAs part of the “Brotherly Shove Festival” I got to see one of the bands that has pretty much carried me from high school to now in my 30’s. I know that sounds kind of corny but seeing a band you truly love can inspired you to make the most of this so-called life, and helps you realize that sometimes all you really need is good music and great friends.

davewestonwhoKelly, Chris, Dave Weston, Joe and Jeff

Posted in Music |

MUSIC ARCHIVE CONCERT REVIEW: THE BOUNCING SOULS

8th September, 2012 · Jeff Larsen · Leave a comment

 

The Bouncing Souls
Asbury Lanes
Asbury Park, NJ June 24, 2007

Asbury Lanes - Asbury Park, NJ

Asbury Lanes – Asbury Park, NJ

If ever there was a city to see The Bouncing Souls, Asbury Park, NJ has to be #1 on the list. As part of the “School of Rock Festival” The Bouncing Souls rocked the outdoor stage adjacent to Asbury Lanes with a song from each of their 7 albums. From “Joe Lies” to “K8 is Great” to “For All the Unheard” “The Souls” put on an incredible show on a beautiful Sunday afternoon at the Jersey Shore.

The Bouncing Souls - my favorite band of all-time!!

The Bouncing Souls – my favorite band of all-time!!

 

Posted in Music, New Jersey |
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